Sponsorship share excerpted from member, Mary Beth:

I thought perhaps I’d share something about the benefits of actually finding your sponsor as opposed to looking in a book or just posting a global request.  I understand those exist.  It is a hard thing to understand when you first come into the rooms.  It’s difficult to understand all of this talk of feelings and boundaries and taking care of one’s self.  Often you didn’t come for all of that, you came because someone’s drinking is making you crazy!  Then you start hearing things about needing a sponsor.  How do you know who to ask to be a sponsor?  What is it all about?  You don’t understand anything and now people are saying you have to go up to someone you don’t know and actually get a commitment from them.  Exactly!

It is crazy it seems.  But when we come in we already feel pretty crazy so don’t let that bother you!  Sponsorship is like the intricate part of Al-Anon and how it applies to your life.  You work with someone to explore how you feel, why you feel like you do.  This person who you don’t know cares about your health (physical, mental, spiritual), how you feel and helping you become more serene.  It might seem strange, but true.  We have all been at the beginning and gone up to someone and asked to him or her to be a sponsor.  It is a wonderful compliment and a gift to be a sponsor, as well as a sponsee.  But the most important part is the choosing.  By doing this, you apply Al-Anon in ways you might not realize.  You have to do something just for you.  And you have to ask someone else to be focused on you in a good way.  This could be a very new thing.  You also have to step outside your comfort zone and trust it is OK.  Also could be very new, but if you can walk into the rooms to start with, you can do other things that are a bit awkward and uncomfortable that is also good for you.  But don’t just go up to anyone.  Go up to someone you have heard or read who speaks in a way that you connect with.  This is the magic.  This is why I wanted to write this.  I prefer it this way, but I’m not clear if the group wants people posting requests here or not.  But it happens.  And I suppose people have connected and done well.  That is always a great thing.  But if you hear or read someone’s share and think “wow that means something to me” then through sponsorship you get to go up to that person and say “I’d like more of that good stuff.”   When I was truly ready to ask someone, and it was almost immediately because I was desperate for help, well just desperate period.  It only took me three meetings.  The same woman was secretary.  It was the way she spoke.  She didn’t even share each time.  But it’s how she held herself. It’s how she spoke to the group – when she spoke I was just in awe.  She exuded serenity and I didn’t know how to explain it but boy did I want what she had.  I just found myself walking up to her after the meeting and saying “I think I’m supposed to ask you to be my sponsor.”  And she just pulled out a pen and wrote down her contact information and we set up a time for coffee.

Sponsorship works best when you want what they have.  Then little by little, through talking/writing you share some of yourself and he/she shares some of himself/herself.  And that “special something” becomes better understood.  I’ve worked with my sponsor and I still feel it.  She has “that special something” that I still want.  I am still learning from her.  And when my life gets crazy all it takes is one text, one cup of coffee, one phone call, and I have pushed the “reset” button and serenity returns.  That’s what sponsorship can be.  And for those who want it, but don’t know how to get a sponsor I recommend not thinking about it so much.  Look at the shares that mean something to you…..and go after that “special something.”  You deserve it.  The unexpected benefit is that your sponsor appreciates the gift you gift them by selecting them to be a sponsor as well.